I Want to Love

I have heard people say, even from the pulpit, that God does not need us. Either that, or they asked whether or not God needs us, and then say that we cannot know the answer. I find the very desire to ask this question insulting, not just to myself, but to God. If I say that God needs me, or any other person in this world, then I am placing myself on the level of God by making myself indispensible. To say that God needs us is to say that He cannot bear life without us, which gives us power over the world, if not by our action, then by our existence, thus making us gods. While Jesus even quotes the Psalm that says, “I have said you are gods,” (Psalm 82:6) this is not to say that God needs us.

However, to say that God does not need us is to denigrate mankind as being unnecessary. As Man (in the general, “mankind” sense) was made in the image of God, to denigrate Man is to insult the image of God. Insulting the image of God is the same as insulting God. Now, I know that Man is fallen, but we’re talking about the act of making us. Why would God make something He didn’t need? The people who say that God does not need us have answered me as saying that He made the world because he loves us.

Why would you love someone who has not yet been created? If you love someone, doesn’t that mean you need them? I’m not going to go further with saying whether or not God needs us because, as I’ve said, I find the concept insulting. Besides, it’s pointless. Not to say that people don’t, but I have rarely heard anyone talk in a sermon about loving God. Sure, they’ll quote the Scripture about “Love the Lord your God with all your heart,” but will they go further? I’ve heard more about forsaking sin, living righteously and not using instrumental music in worship than actually loving God.

I suffer from general depression. I have had people tell me that is sin, because it means I do not have enough faith in God, and that all I need to do is believe. “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Phil. 4:4) is not a commandment that makes us sin if we break it. It is an exhortation for us to rejoice. Yes, living in depression is often caused by sin, arrogant bitterness in my case, but there are also chemical reasons that cause it. I happen to have those too.

How can I rejoice in someone I don’t understand. I grew up in a church that said spiritual things don’t happen in this world, like miracles. I always heard that God doesn’t talk to us except through the words of the Bible, that His work in the world is finished except through what we do. I have even seen a preacher (not at my church growing up) finish out a sermon by having someone lead the song “God Has No Hands but Our Hands.” What the Flutie Flakes is that supposed to mean? How can the hand of God be made so impotent by people who claim to believe in Him?

People may say they obey God, but obedience does not equal love. It’s like a cliff with a smooth glass face and a slide going down. Obedience is at the bottom, and that’s where the Sea of Righteousness is, with a boat to go out on it, but Love is at the top of the cliff, where you have to slide down to get to obedience. You can get to obedience from love, but you can’t get back up. Likewise, love without obedience is nothing, but that’s not the point of this one. People focus on that point so often, it’s lost what love really means.

What is love? What is hope? I have heard that faith is the simple choice to believe, but I cannot bring myself to do that in the face of so much confusion. I have heard little talk of hope, so I’m not even sure what that means. People define love by saying I Corinthians 13, not quoting it, mind you, but saying the words, “First Corinthians Thirteen.” That is trite and meaningless. It shows that the person does not really understand what the chapter means, or else they would be able to explain it.

If this offends you, think before you respond. Think why it offends you. I am speaking to no one. I am accusing no one. I am judging no one. Yes, I have said people are wrong, but they were ignorant and not stupid. They were ignorant and not willingly disobedient or unloving. Ignorant simply means uninformed, and I am not blaming them, because that’s not my place. Besides, it would not be the loving thing to do, and I have done the exact same thing that I am saying they did, even defining love by the number of a Bible chapter.

I want to love God. I do want that. I don’t know exactly what it means, other than to revel in His glory, search after Him everyday, every moment of every day, to devote my life and my work to Him, whether it’s writing a post about Him or something so mundane as cooking Walmart brand spaghetti for my wife. I still face the arrogance and bitterness that I mentioned earlier, but I want that gone.

This isn’t about whether God needs me or whether God has power in the world. God does have power, and I have seen it work in the fact that I am still alive when I came extremely close to death five years ago, and it doesn’t matter if God needs me or not. He loves me, and I love God. My love is weak and broken, but that’s okay. His is better, and will always be.